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ďNever underestimate your ability to say one thing and do another. Everybody has a soft underbellyóyou know, that part of your feelings that is so true you want to protect it with everything you haveÖ it is often these feelings that are most present or obvious. Interestingly enough, these feelings are there to protect your deepest, truest desires.Ē
Master Your Inner World: Embrace Your Power with Joy
Make your online profile because youíre ready to interact with others, not because you need to. So many people get online because theyíve just had a bad break up, or as a reaction to some other trauma. Unfortunately, this can easily backfire. There is no replacement for the grief process and quickly trying to replace something youíve lost can only reinforce that fact.
Whatever you do: Donít use that great photo you took on a vacation ten years ago. There is nothing more disheartening than getting to know someone online and finding out they look completely different. Itís not about how you look as much as it is your confidence and integrity.
Some of us over forty remember when it was looked down upon for a woman to be the first to reach out. In todayís culture: Youíve got to let that go. The other thing that happens after forty? If you didnít before, you begin to realize how precious life is and not to waste any of it on what other people think.
This is a big ole crazy world and no matter how specific or outlandish your preferences or desires, be honest about them. Bait and switch in a relationship is considered a betrayal and was hopefully left behind in your twenties. Trust me, there is someone out there who wants what you want.
Forgiveness is not only something you give to others when theyíve given in to bad behavior. Learning to forgive yourself for your own participation, needs, desires, or circumstances that brought you to an unwanted experience is vital to harmony in any relationship. I forgive me.
Believe it or not, folks often reveal themselves in many ways in just the first hour of a meeting. Pay attention to your feelings in that first experience as they will let you know exactly what youíre up for with your potential relationship. Your honesty will allow for a lot more freedom to negotiate what you want. This allows you to get to know your partnerís authentic self and for you to be yours.
Finding the one you want takes time in this new format. Not because there arenít many options. No, itís the time it takes to get comfortable and feel relaxed in the process. Online dating is a great exercise in self-acceptance and finding harmony through interaction with many different personalities simultaneously. So, giving yourself three months is a way to take the pressure off.
Honest communication is the best way to cultivate personal trust. The more honest you are with yourself the more it will reflect joyfully on your relationships. I find that a lot of people, at times, will withhold communication in hopes it will keep them from being rejected. Anyone who would reject you based on impromptu judgements they make arenít going to be able to negotiate a relationship. Remember, itís not your job to help others get out of their own way.
As you know, some people will love you and some wonít like you at all. (Just a little reminder) Be yourself and get to know as many people as you have time for. Enter into every interaction with an open mind and heart letting things flow where they mayĖ or may not. You are spectacular, let otherís see it.
Fun, is by far, the most important of the ten basic principles. Know that online dating can be scary, intimidating, and trigger your issues. So, learning to take it, yourself, and others a little less seriously will create a way to embrace and enjoy the experience. You may chat with more than a dozen people before actually meeting someone in person. Just because you donít want to date someone doesnít mean spending time with them is a waste. I believe every conversation has a morsel of goodness for us.