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#AskJulie: Disappearing Date

#AskJulie: Disappearing Date

#AskJulie: Disappearing Date

Dear Julie,

I met this woman on line whom seemed perfect and she felt the same. We got together and our first date was super and I dialed her next day but she didn’t respond…for weeks, so I figured she wasn’t interested. Then she contacted me out of the blue and apologizes what seemed in earnest saying she lost my phone along with all her numbers which is why she didn’t return my calls nor reach out to me. Basically she pleaded with me to give her a second chance cause like me she felt we had real chemistry. Long story short…we had another amazing date, and planned our next one. Once again she’s disappeared. I know intellectually I should block her number and disappear too since something isn’t quite right here but I haven’t had that kind of chemistry with anyone for a long time. Should I give her another chance if she reappears again?

Disappearing Act


Dear Disappearing Act,

My son had a similar experience recently and when he shared it with me before his ‘next date’ with her he told me they had talked her ‘disappearance’ all through and they were on the same page. So, as I bit my lip, I gently cautioned him to just enjoy the moment and wished him another great date. Fast forward to later that day: she never returned his call confirming their date and once again disappeared. As a parent and particularly a mum, I Hated being right and I hurt for him but it’s another life lesson.

K…enough about he…. Let’s get back to you…First let me say my son is 21 and you I suspect are a bit older and hopefully wiser…which based on your posing this question implies you’re not… And, believe me part of me gets it cause I’m a diehard romantic whom wants to believe in ‘chemistry’ and my heart going pit a pit, BUT my first question for you is: are you reacting with your head or another part of your anatomy or was it truly her brain and engaging personality that attracts you to her…OR here’s a really radical possibility! Are you attracted to the fact that she’s unavailable and thus more of a challenge or a risk? Let me know cause dahlin’ truth is if someone wants to be with you they don’t disappear for weeks and you don’t embrace their return unless you’re a sucker for punishment or really just enjoying the challenge. Ponder that please and ask yourself this question: would you disappear if you wanted to be with someone??? Poof!

Cheers!

Julie

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Julie Edelman aka The Accidental Housewife is a New York Times bestselling author, international media personality and SheKnows.com Relationship Ex...Read More