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Older Dating and Changing Roles

Older Dating and Changing Roles

Something that people do not give much thought to, is how much roles can change from the time they entered their previous relationship, to the time they re-enter the dating world.

They may have lived in a time when it was almost an expectation that the husband worked, and the wife stayed home to raise the children, cook, clean, and take care of the household. The man was in charge of the finances, and choices were often deferred to him. My how things have changed since then, and it can be quite a shock and adjustment for many. This adjustment might be something that takes people time, patience, and understanding to change too, and their partner needs to be understanding of that fact as well.

As many re-enter the dating world, we may find women who are looking to be an equal. They seek the fulfillment of a career, they have raised their children, and they want an equal partnership with an equal say. This might be quite a culture shock to both of them, but one that needs to be addressed.

It is best to express your needs and wants as early in the relationship as possible, so that you can surmise if you are compatible, and if you are able to meet each otherís needs. It would not be fair to either partner to let the relationship go on for a notable length of time, and then express needs that are not in line with what they have been made to believe up until this point.

Meeting both your needs might require some of the most important communication that every strong relationship contains. In these relationships, the one person completely hears the other person out before interjecting their thoughts and opinions. This makes the other person feel heard, and that you care how they feel about this matter. Another important piece is learning the art of compromise. While the end result may not be ideal to either of you, you heard each other, and met each other halfway. Neither person walks away feeling like they have lost, or that they were not understood or respected. Lastly, they make sure to attack the issues and not each other. Stay focused on the topic at hand, and never resort to name calling, mind reading, or drudging up the past. Focus on the present, and the current issue. This will prevent many issues for you as a couple.

Regardless of your particular situation, it is a new world out there. More than likely, there have been numerous changes to dating and commitment since you ended your long-term relationship and re-entered the dating world. It is as important to express your genuine wants and needs, as it is to be understanding of your new partner, and their need to adjust. If you truly care for one another, this is going to be something you will both be willing and wanting to find a way to do.

The most important thing is that you genuinely care for one another, want each other to be happy, and want to know what that means to your partner. You want to take a hard look at yourself, the way that you have done things, and the things that you are willing to try to change in order to ensure your partners happiness. A personís willingness to do this is one of the greatest indicators of relationship success that I can think of. While the time and circumstances are changing, you are both the same people at heart, and that is who you fell for.