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Yesterday I had the most fun first date than I have ever had!
And I bet you a hundred bucks you’ve NEVER had one like this before.
Nope - it wasn’t the typical coffee at Starbucks or lunch or a walk in the park.
Certainly wasn’t dinner and a movie, which I highly discourage anyone from doing - especially on the first date. After all, sitting silently in a dark theatre for 2 hours with a potential mate isn’t really optimum in terms of getting to know someone well.
And lastly, it wasn’t attending a sporting event, concert, or holiday party.
I promise - you’ll never guess if you guessed all day.
So - what was so special and unusual about our first date?
We met for breakfast and then went mattress shopping! In a manner of speaking you might say he talked me into bed on our first date!
Are you surprised? I know I was. So here’s how it panned out and why it was such a success...
I hadn’t had much luck with Internet dating personally, but for the sake of periodic research for my job as a relationship aficionado I took the plunge again after many years away from it. This time I did one thing differently than I usually do - I actually wrote on my profile that I write relationship books and asked the guys if they found that intriguing or worrisome? Figured I’d cull out the worry warts right quick.
It didn’t take long until a nice gentleman wrote me and asked about my writings and while he did seem curious, he didn’t seem to be too intimidated by them, as some men do. (I do try to tell guys that relationship experts need love too, but that doesn’t always seem to set them at ease!)
Our profiles were a pretty good match - both into fitness, neither smoked, looking for a long-term relationship built on values like honesty, respect, and healthy communications.
We switched from email to long phone calls and after a few days of successful chatting we decided to meet for breakfast. And that’s how we got in to bed so quick. But I’m getting ahead of myself again.
We finished off breakfast and both seemed to sense some chemistry passing back and forth between us. Not wanting it to end just yet I told him I was free for a couple more hours, if he’d like to keep the connecting going. But as we weren’t near a park or some other romantic location we were momentarily stumped for another activity to enjoy when he shared with me that he’d planned to go mattress shopping after we went our separate ways after breakfast.
I asked him if he’d like some company on his search, and although I don’t think he thought I was serious, he found himself agreeing that if I really wanted to join him he’d both be glad for the company and for a second opinion on purchasing such an important item.
And so it began! Between JC Penney’s, Sears, and Big Lots we tested out mattress after mattress.
We were like the Three Bears ... this one’s too hard. This one’s too soft. This one has too much memory foam. Or my favorite complaint, “This one is too squishy.” (My term, not his!)
We laid down separately at first, trying out different mattresses, testing out our favorite positions. I learned he sleeps on his left side - so do I. (Hmmmm ... this could be complicated down the road.) I learned he has back problems, as do I. And I concurred just how important the right bed is for our creaky bodies.
Then for the extra-important test drives we ended up with both of us on the same bed at the same time! A little bumping of elbows, a little getting up close and personal, a little heightening of that gradually building chemistry ...
Are you getting the picture? See what I’m saying about Starbucks? It just doesn’t cut it.
Of course, on another note, should Mr. Mattress and I find that we like each other a whole bunch and end up in said bed without the test driving clothes necessary for use in public places like Sears, he’ll already know what my sleeping preferences are as well. Could be critical information in choosing such a big item as the right mattress, dontcha think?
The moral of the story is this: Do something memorable on your first date with someone in order to BE memorable. Don’t be like everybody else and have coffee or lunch or go to a sporting event or concert.
Be remembered as the most memorable dater around - as long as you don’t do anything dangerous or embarrassing to your date.
Use your imagination. Be spontaneous. Take a trip to the zoo - even if it’s winter. (The cold will give you the chance to cuddle closer.) Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and build a house together while you learn about each other’s skills, like patience when things go wrong. Play water volleyball at the YMCA and see how competitive each of you are. Go to a dog show or rodeo or Zumba class. Just be unique and I promise you that you’ll be remembered! And whether or not there’s a date 2 in the cards, you’ll always leave your date with fond memories of you.
Lastly, blow off your friends who might tell you you’re crazy to take your date mattress shopping on your first meeting! What do they know, anyway? Have they ever tried it? Do they know just how much chemistry can grow in JC Penney’s in the bed department?
I bet JC Penney’s doesn’t either or they’d market mattresses in a completely different way. On the other hand, maybe they already are... As we left the bed department and headed back to the mall it occurred to me that we were walking through the lingerie department. Hmmmmm.... Clever, JC Penney. Very clever!
Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN is The Voice of Dating, Mating, and Relating! Attending nursing school years ago she never imagined that she would end up nurs...Read More
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